Falling Off the Edge

I wanted a job. One job had closed and I was ready for a new one. Right away! I don’t remember the details about the jobs, but I do remember my experience with God. My patience, limited as it was, had come to an end. I felt desperate. I turned to prayer, pouring out my heart. I was upset, angry, and afraid. It felt as if I was having a temper tantrum. “With my voice I cry to the Lord . . . . I pour out my complaint before God . . .” (Psalm 142: 1-2).

Eventually I wore out. I let go of my demands. I accepted reality. I recognized the limits of my human control and fell off the edge of the security I had tried to construct for myself. My outward circumstances did not change, but somehow I felt as if I had been listened to and heard. I found myself in the arms of love like a sobbing child who has been held and quietly calmed by her mother. “O Lord, my heart is not lifted up, my eyes are not raised too high . . . . But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother . . .” (Psalm 131: 1-2).

Over and over we come up against the limits of our own power and abilities. Such times can be opportunities to go ahead and fall off the edge– to let go of the ego, to die to the self, to surrender to God, to move into the flow of living water, to say yes to God. We can fear that it will be the end of us if we let go. But it is the beginning. In the new dimension there are peace and love and possibilities.

Queries:

Whether in regard to your personal life or to the complex issues that hurt us as a nation or a world, what experience have you had hitting the wall of human limitations?

What do you know of a divine dimension that is available?

Prayer:

Be still and know that I am God.

You may want to simply repeat this phrase and let it bring you calm. Another possibility is to do a guided meditation using this phrase, dropping off a word each time: Be still and know that I am. Be still and know. Be still. Be.

For further reflection:

“Give over thine own willing, give over thine own running, give over thine own desiring . . .and sink down to the seed which God sows in thy heart . . .” (Isaac Penington , 1661).

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (See Psalm 46).

“Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you” (See Matthew 7: 7-11).

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One thought on “Falling Off the Edge

  1. This was very timely for me today! I came home from an appointment feeling overwhelmed, and anxious. These are not common feelings for me (how lucky I am) so it took me a while to recognize what I was feeling. And then my rational mind kept trying to talk me out of it. “Everything is fine; why should you be worried?” That did not work! I called a friend and we got together, so I could talk and be listened to, and to get a few therapeutic hugs.

    What would I have done if my friend were not available? I think I would have written in my journal, and spent time in contemplative prayer. I sometimes need reminding that God is everywhere and always accessible to me, if I just take the time to be still.

    Like

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